Stan the Brandon Handyman

Stan the Handyman came on a Saturday to do a list of jobs I need done around the house that I cannot do myself. Stan does a relatively decent job while he is here, but I am not happy that he would never turn off the breakers while he was working on the lights and fans. I am alyso not thrilled that he can’t put the garage shelves up the right way, and now I have to purchase more parts to make up for his lack of skills. Okay, I can deal with this. 

Stan isn’t able to finish everything. No problem, it was a long to-do list. He says he will come back the next day, Sunday, to finish. 

After he leaves, I am looking at the white bookcases he assembled. There are several footprints on the sides. Apparently he stood on them while putting them together. This does not make me happy, but it seems the only damage is dirt, which I can clean.

Sunday morning Stan makes a lame excuse why he isn’t coming back today, and leaves me hanging without everything being finished. I also have half a set of garage shelves over my washer and dryer. I expect he’ll want to finish the work soon since I haven’t paid him yet. After some discussion, Stan is going to come back on Friday. He also isn’t sure when he will be able to clean the gutters, since he has managed to twist his knee and can’t climb a ladder. I am sure Stan is going to wind up “passing” on cleaning the gutters, so this means the quoted price will go down, and I can find someone else to clean the gutters. No problem.

Friday comes, and I haven’t heard a peep from Stan regarding what time he’s planning to arrive. I text to ask him, and receive silence in return. After a couple of hours, I text Stan to say that I am assuming he isn’t available today after all, and that I am available again on Tuesday. He replies to that text, and says OK. 

Tuesday comes, and Stan texts me before I am awake to ask if he can come at 10:15. I reply at 10:00 that yes, he can come now. He replies that he will be at my house in 20 minutes. I have to be home all day to wait on the county inspector for the new doors, so it will be nice to get everything finally done. 

Thirty minutes later, Stan has not arrived. Okay, maybe there is a traffic jam somewhere. I don’t know where he lives, but the traffic on some streets can be brutal, even during the mid-morning on a weekday.

An hour after Stan says he is coming, he still isn’t here. 

Two hours after Stan says he is coming to finish the Handyman items I hired him for, I text him and say “I take it that you changed your mind about coming this morning.”

I never hear from Stan on Tuesday. 

Or Wednesday. 

Or Thursday. 

Or Friday.

Saturday morning Stan finally texts back “Can I come by to finish?”

I reply “No. I will not be home today. And since you never showed up on Tuesday when you said you were coming, nor contacted me, I've found someone else to finish the things I have left to do. 

Please let me know how much I owe you for the work you have completed, and your address, and I will mail you a check.”

Stan texts back that he wants to be paid more than 3/4 the agreed amount for finishing around half the work. 

I don’t think so. 

I negotiated him down to just over half, since that’s all he’s done.

I would bet that Stan is shocked and surprised that I fired him.