Hosting Convention Panels 101

I think they need to make convention panelists take a course on "How To Be A Convention Panelist," because this weekend at Worldcon has made it clear to me that far too many of them don't know how to do it.

I attended more than one panel where the "moderator" did more talking than anyone else. On one panel the moderator would barely let the panelists make a comment, then would tell each of them why she thought they were wrong.

At another panel, one of the panelists got very far off topic in the first five minutes, and just rambled inanely on and on. The moderator did nothing to reel the guy back in, or make him shut up. I actually left that panel after about ten minutes of the crazy off-topic monologue. I could no longer stand it, and it wasn't the discussion I showed up to listen to.

One panelist sat sideways the entire time, talking to the guy next to him, and would never speak into the microphone. That, combined with his 90MPH speech pattern, made it impossible to either hear or understand him.

One guy kept sitting really far back, not speaking into the microphone. The audience had to yell "Mike!" at him every single time he spoke. And he always looked so put-out that he had to sit up straight and repeat the beginning of whatever comment he had started to make.

I'm sure you couldn't actually get the panel participants to show up for a taining session. You'd never be be able to get them all to show up at the same time and place. So, I think all conventions should give every panelist an instruction sheet when they arrive, and be made to read it before they are allowed to participate in a panel.

Here are my suggestions of what the instruction sheet should say. Feel free to copy and use this in its entirety, but kindly give me credit for having written it.

1. Use the microphones and use them properly.

• The ones used in convention centers and hotels are NOT omni-directional. You have to face them, and speak directly into them in order to be heard by your audience.
• Do not sit leaning back in your chair with your face four feet from the microphone, because it won't pick up your voice. The audience is going to get very tired of having to shout "Mike!" at you for the entire panel.
• Speak at a normal level. Do not shout and break everyone's eardrums, or whisper and give everyone a stress headache from trying to hear you.
• If there aren't enough microphones for for each person to have their own, then be polite and share. Nobody likes a microphone hog.

2. This is not a TV chat show. It is a panel discussion.

• Don't turn sideways during the whole panel, speaking only to your fellow panelists and ignoring the audience. This will produce some bad results.
• A: If the microphone is in a stand on the table, you won't be speaking into it properly (see point 1 above), and the audience won't be able to hear you.
• B: it gives the audience the impression that you don't care about them, or care if they hear what you have to say, making you seem like an arrogant prick.

3. If you are too shy to speak in front of an audience, then politely decline when asked to be on a panel. The fans will understand. In general, it is better to have a reputation as a shy person than as an arrogant one.

4. If you happen to be one of those people who really do hate your fans (yes, there are such people), then please decline all convention invitations and stay home. The fans don't appreciate being insulted, and can tell when you don't like them.

5. If you are the moderator, then please moderate.

• Moderator doesn't mean "star of the panel," so in most cases you should Shut The Frak Up! Yes, sometimes the moderator can, and should, participate. But note that is participate, not dominate.
• Your job is to keep the panel on track for the Topic, since that's what the audience showed up for.
• Politely reel in or axe conversations that have gone astray.
• Keep the panel-hogs from usurping all of the talk time.
• Seek out comments from panelists who aren't talking enough. Someone in the audience showed up to hear them speak, too.
• And since this seems to need repeating to many moderators, remember that you are the moderator, not the star. Do not be the one who is the Panel Hog.

6. If you desire to be invited as any sort of guest to a future convention, then think of every panel you are on as a type of audition. You never know who is in the audience. If you seem arrogant, or uncontrollable, or difficult to deal with, you could be passed over as a future guest simply based on your actions on a panel.